Moving on up.
Chad and I started to move into our apartment last night! Finally! It feels like it has been a lifetime waiting for this moment! Chad asked me to move in with him monthes ago! But I think I needed that long to get some things together and make it real. We have been so lucky to have family and friends who have supported us with unwanted goods and love. It's amazing how people come together in the end.
It's a new beginning.
Big changes are coming my way in the next few days. What I do now will set the pace for the rest of my life. I'm moving out, for the first time. Chad is actually much better at this playing house thing than I thought. I was worried I'd be bogged down with laundry, dishes, and cooking on top of my thousand other things. I hope it works out for us. I hope we aren't making a mistake moving in together. I don't think we are, but you have to wonder. Don't you? It's going to be new chapter for me. I'm going to miss home a lot, even if they are just a 15 minute walk away. I was crying taking down my pictures yesterday. I have so many memories in that little room. I remember throwing VIP family only parties on my bed when I was like, six. I love mom waking me up every day with sweet little peanut butter bread and banana faces. It`s hard to give that up. It`s hard for all of us. I just hope they know how much I love them, and how hard this is.
I have so much on my plate right now. I don't know if I should be proud that I'm doing so much, and so well, or ashamed. I've let myself get so caught up in everyone else I'm letting myself get taken over. I'm so stressed out, and I never get stressed. I just don't know how to say no to anyone. I want to please everyone, but I'm not pleasing myself. If anyone of my friends were doing this to themselves I'd be so mad, but I can never take my own advice. Thats my issue. Will I ever learn?
I feel like I'm on a different page right now than most of the people in my life. I want someone I can relate to. I have one person, but shes half way across the country. And god love my friends, my boyfriend, and family. They really try to listen, but it's hard to understand something you've never experienced. You want to, and you try to, but it's hard. I just appreicate them all so much.
"I wanna find me a whole new world at the edge of the earth. I wanna place no one has been and I wanna get there first."
I can't wait to go to India in May. I think it'll give me back that sense of belonging I need.
I feel like I've kind of disconnected myself from everything I love so I don't feel like I'm letting anyone down. I wanna be there for my friends, my boyfriend, and family but it's hard to please everyone! I end up just pleasing no one and being stressed. I think this whole blog thing will help express whats going on in this thick head of mine.
I`m going to lunch with Chelsea and Lisa today. I think the three of us need each other now more than ever. Maybe we think everything is falling apart but I think it might just be coming together. I hate when my friends go through break ups because I feel so helpless, and in some ways I am. I remember my last break up. I thought my life was over. I didn`t know how I could go on, now I look back and think ``HOW COULD YOU LOVE HIM``. It`s a real process of self definition. My friends tried to tell me I would be okay, but I didn`t believe them. That break up was a changing point in my life. My friends picked my sorry ass out of bed, gave me a water bottle of hard booze and dressed me for a party. I met all this people from Fogo Island, I didn`t know at the time that it would be the best thing I ever did. That moment led me to my best friend Chiller, all the fabulous people from that island who have given me everything. I met Chad because of that night. I want to show my friend that this is just a stepping stone that will open up so many new doors and windows. She`ll see, in time. But for now all I can offer her is love, and my listening ears.
I must say goodbye for now dear friends, I`ve got people to see and a thousand things to do. Have a good day, where ever your head may rest.
I have so much on my plate right now. I don't know if I should be proud that I'm doing so much, and so well, or ashamed. I've let myself get so caught up in everyone else I'm letting myself get taken over. I'm so stressed out, and I never get stressed. I just don't know how to say no to anyone. I want to please everyone, but I'm not pleasing myself. If anyone of my friends were doing this to themselves I'd be so mad, but I can never take my own advice. Thats my issue. Will I ever learn?
I feel like I'm on a different page right now than most of the people in my life. I want someone I can relate to. I have one person, but shes half way across the country. And god love my friends, my boyfriend, and family. They really try to listen, but it's hard to understand something you've never experienced. You want to, and you try to, but it's hard. I just appreicate them all so much.
"I wanna find me a whole new world at the edge of the earth. I wanna place no one has been and I wanna get there first."
I can't wait to go to India in May. I think it'll give me back that sense of belonging I need.
I feel like I've kind of disconnected myself from everything I love so I don't feel like I'm letting anyone down. I wanna be there for my friends, my boyfriend, and family but it's hard to please everyone! I end up just pleasing no one and being stressed. I think this whole blog thing will help express whats going on in this thick head of mine.
I`m going to lunch with Chelsea and Lisa today. I think the three of us need each other now more than ever. Maybe we think everything is falling apart but I think it might just be coming together. I hate when my friends go through break ups because I feel so helpless, and in some ways I am. I remember my last break up. I thought my life was over. I didn`t know how I could go on, now I look back and think ``HOW COULD YOU LOVE HIM``. It`s a real process of self definition. My friends tried to tell me I would be okay, but I didn`t believe them. That break up was a changing point in my life. My friends picked my sorry ass out of bed, gave me a water bottle of hard booze and dressed me for a party. I met all this people from Fogo Island, I didn`t know at the time that it would be the best thing I ever did. That moment led me to my best friend Chiller, all the fabulous people from that island who have given me everything. I met Chad because of that night. I want to show my friend that this is just a stepping stone that will open up so many new doors and windows. She`ll see, in time. But for now all I can offer her is love, and my listening ears.
I must say goodbye for now dear friends, I`ve got people to see and a thousand things to do. Have a good day, where ever your head may rest.
